Expectations regarding good manners may differ from person to person and the situation in which certain practices may apply vary. Although the rules of etiquette change, there are those that remain intertwined with the very culture of a country. Ignorance about customs and traditions can make even the best intentioned person appear rude or foolish.
Handshakes are widely expected in New Zealand when meeting friends and new people or leaving their company. It usually consists of a quick clasping of hands instead of the firm or tight grip as in the usual practice in America. It is best given with a smile as it indicates pleasure at meeting the other person. The safest way to address New Zealanders is by their honorific title and surname until they themselves suggest moving to a more familiar level or they call you by your first name.
It is customary to bring a small gift such as flowers, chocolates or a book about one’s home country if invited to a New Zealander’s house. Gifts should not be lavish. They are opened when received.
Table manners are continental and meals are often served family-style. Although New Zealander’s are typically casual in their manners, protocol tends to be stricter on more formal occasions. Elbows are kept-off the table and hands are placed above the table when eating. Sitting on or resting one’s backside against a table or desk is offensive to Maori people since the table where food is served is not allowed to be touched by “unclean” regions. The request to “bring a plate” to a gathering means to bring a food item.
Conducting businesses with New Zealanders are done with respect, honesty, directness and a trace of a sense of humor. Even if meetings are generally relaxed, they are considered serious events. A brief amount of small talk precedes the specific matter at hand.
New Zealanders are somewhat reserved especially with people they don’t know but are eventually friendly, outgoing and social once they develop a personal relationship. It is a must to arrive at meetings on time, if not a few minutes earlier lest the visitor’s behavior be interpreted as an indication of the person’s unreliability or lack of respect for the other person’s time. A business case is presented with facts and figures as emotions and feelings are not important in the New Zealand business climate.
There are certain national sensitivities particular to New Zealanders. The term “mainland” is not used either for the North or South Islands of New Zealand and neither is it used to refer to Australia. New Zealanders have an existing rivalry with their Australian neighbor and has a great affinity for Great Britain. Visitors should avoid comparisons to Australians or references that might be disparaging of an agricultural economy or of British ways.
New Zealanders take great pride on their proficiency with the English language and holds anyone who also does so in high esteem. They are less forgiving of the mistakes in spelling, grammar and syntax done by Americans, Canadians and Australians than those whose first language is not English such as Asians. The correct pronunciation of Maori words and place-names are very important both to Maori and non-Maori as it signifies respect for the land and its people.
Basic courtesy is expected in everyday dealing with people such as boarding of public transport and queuing. Money is always placed on the hand of the cashier except in restaurants where trays are provided. Tipping is not expected nor encouraged. Shoes are removed before entering a Maori sacred building or a house of another person. There are a lot of other practices that are expected even from visitors, thus it is always wise to research about the country of destination so that actions will be in accordance to what is deemed acceptable.